I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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