Buhtt sex?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
