I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
