I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish you could order shots online.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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