she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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