well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
