I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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