yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize