I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
