ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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