I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
