Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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