I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
