Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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