I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize