"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize