The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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