I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize