One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
