I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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