I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
