no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
