I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize