Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
