so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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