just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize