Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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