Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
