Don't you send me to vm
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
