Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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