yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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