I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
