What did we do last night that was yellow?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
