So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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