my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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