I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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