I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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