I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
