Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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