All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Vodka?
Forever.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
