ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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