did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
