we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
