I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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