this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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