Don't you send me to vm
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You made out with two different species that night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
