yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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