this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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