he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
