I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
