I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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