she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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