32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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