This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
