oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
