Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
