we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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