Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
