She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
