I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
