Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
