How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
