Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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